9/22/21 – Humans are Creatures of these 3 areas – ISA // Skillset Training

Okay, rock and roll. No idea why this is a small group today, but Jennifer, you’re gonna get all the love. So, um, why don’t we, just from a perspective of how I can help, why don’t you give me, like, what are your, um, what are your biggest challenges right now? And doesn’t necessarily need to be like skillset.

This can really be almost anything in regards to the business that I can help you with. Um, if, if I could give you, if you could walk away with one main thing today and in regards to anything in the business, what would that be? Um, what a question I was not expecting this, um, drew, I actually, I was not in the team training, but it’s just a big open office and, uh, yeah, over listening, overhearing their training today and they were talking about efficiency.

Um, and you know how, so I’ve been full time for two years. Yep. Um, I started out on the field side. I was an agent. Yep. Out in, out in the field. Didn’t know how to be my own boss. Didn’t know how to wake up in the morning and make myself, you know, there was no timeframe, no, no time card, it’s you? Yeah. And that was a huge transition.

And so I took a step back into being the showing agent showing specialist and ISA, and that has been invaluable. I know how to, and even these trainings, I mean, you know, just learning how to handle objections, how to talk to people. And eventually I will be, I think by 2022, I will be back on, on the other side, you know, dealing with all the crazy out there on the dark side.

Um, but, uh, yeah, efficiency is something we’ve been really sticking with recently. I think, um, Just really, can you define, what do you mean? What do you mean by efficiency? Like where are we short? Um, I. Well for me personally, um, I’m and I’m getting back on track with it. Um, I had some personal demons that I was dealing with and they’re back there now and they’re gonna stay back there.

I can only move forward. And, um, I think now getting back on track and waking up at the same time every day is something that I’m incorporating this week. Okay. Um, I think that that’s huge and that goes to, it’s just a control thing. Um, and drew and I have talked about if you control. The one when the time you wake up every day, then you’re, you know, you’ve ch checked off one thing you get up at that same time every day, and you’re already winning.

And to have that mindset to continue on into the day, you know, you get to the office on time. You get your calls made on time. You’re not overwhelmed because you decided to hit this snooze button and sleep in 30 minutes. And. So efficiency, I think is just kind of learning how to time block the day and, and hold yourself accountable to it and get, and get it done.

Mm-hmm because we that’s what you have to do in this business, or you won’t have a business. Yeah, totally pretty simple here. I would write this down. I, I think as a human race, there are some people that have differentiating, uh, opinions on what I’m about to tell you. Uh, this comes from back. I was a, uh, for half my, my college career.

I was a, uh, music education major the other half. I was public speaking and, uh, sociology. And during these sociology years. And, uh, just the reason why you shouldn’t take this to heart a hundred percent is because I withdrew my last semester cuz my, my band got signed, so I didn’t even graduate. Um, but uh, as a human race, we are creatures of our environment.

We are creatures of our habits and we are creatures of our tribe. Right. So if we look at, at the environment part, what does that mean?

I don’t know if that’s how you spell it again. Didn’t graduate. What, what would be example, Jennifer of our environment? Uh, your home. I mean your, so it could be home. What else? Uh, people you surround yourself. Well, you said tribes, that’s kind of throwing me off. As far as environment’s concerned, tribe would be people, right?

Um, environment, maybe. I don’t know the things you listen to music. Okay. You know? Yeah. So what you listen, what about what you wear? Is that part of your environment? Absolutely. Yeah. What, what about how you, how do you, and I’m not talking about like makeup and stuff, but like, what about how you get ready in the morning?

Is that part of your environment? Yeah. I mean, you have a routine in every yeah, yeah. You have to brush your hair. What about your every day? Like your desk? Yeah. Yeah. Needs environment. Yeah. Right. . Uh, office is part of your environment. Is your car part of your environment? Mm-hmm I guess your immediate surroundings.

It’s anything that has the ability to influence subconsciously or, or consciously your emotions. That’s how we would define an environment. So, um, another thing that I would tell you is if every day that, that you came into the office, uh, let’s say, you and I were in the same office together, and I just walked up to you and I was, you know, four feet in front of you.

And I said, Hey, You suck. And I just walked away first day. You’d be like, come on, dude, don’t be a jerk. And then next day I come in and say, Hey, what’s up, you suck. You know, and we just keep doing that. And eventually one or two things is gonna happen. Number one, you’re gonna have a breakdown of, of some sort.

Right. Um, number two, maybe eventually you might believe me, even though it’s not true. Right, but because it’s, it’s redundantly, you know, in front of you eventually, you’re like, well, he’s gonna keep telling me this. So rather than try to fight that, should I just agree with him? Is that the easier path, right?

The good thing is from the environment perspective, however you spell it. Um, and I know that’s wrong. I think it’s O I think it’s, uh, O opposite R and I, um, The good thing is, is the opposite is true as well. Right? So if I was to come in every single day and I was just to tell you, not, not from a, not from a, um, a romantic perspective, but if I was just to tell you, you look great today and that was it.

And I just walked away and you came in tomorrow and I said, Hey, you look great today. And I just kept doing that. Eventually, it’s gonna lift your confidence up so high to where the expectation is just that every time you see Steve, uh, you know, he’s always gonna say, you look great today, whether it’s true or whether it’s not.

Um, we could talk about this in regards to what you look at every single day, even. I mean, there have been studies about lighting and mirrors, like with people that have, um, uh, self-worth issues. That’s not what I’m trying to say, but like even just like lights on the ceiling, lights in front of you, lights on the, like, just moving the lights has the ability to change how we view the day, every single day.

Um, you know, are you waking up and is the home, uh, uh, like always in disarray, right? I have, I have two little, little kids. My son really only likes soccer in Fortnite, so he really doesn’t trash the house. My daughter’s an artist and I swear if we let her, she would paint the freaking walls. Right. So. Do you walk downstairs or, or wherever you live or, or to the kitchen and is everything kind of out of order, right.

And, and does that, you may think like, ah, no big deal. I’ll clean this up when I get home today, but in the back of your head, your brain is being told every day, Hey, you’re disorganized, you’re disorganized. You’re disorganized. You’re disorganized. Right? So it’s the same thing. Um, I don’t even remember what the, oh, you suck.

It’s the same thing every single day. Right? So one of the things from an environment perspective is I would make a commitment. I’m talking to all of you guys right now, especially if you’re walking, watching the recording, I would make the commitment of once a week. What is one thing that you can change about your environment that would subconsciously hack your mindset?

I, I will tell you one of my, one of my top agents in Phoenix, um, young guy, I think he was probably 23. When he started with me, he would come in some days and he would wear a suit, you know, he’d be, he, he just looked like he was gonna, you know, like go meet the president that day. And the next day he would come in and he would look like total crap.

Right? You drank too much. The night before didn’t take a shower. This morning was, was frantic. He woke up late and I will tell you that, that on those days he almost never had. On the frantic days ever, because his brain was always somebody else, always somewhere else. Right. So that would be environment. Um, let’s talk about tribe.

What do I mean by tribe? How, how does our tribe affect us, Jackie? This is to you as well. Well, those are the people that we surround ourselves with and they either influence us, uh, up or they can take us down. Depends on who we’re hanging. Yeah. Um, you know, I, I don’t think life is as cut and dry as that famous quote of like you, you know, the results in your life are, are, are directly attached to the five closest people that influence you.

I, I think that, um, like if, if you look at like a, a Richard Branson or Jeff Bezos or Tim cook, or maybe a Steve jobs, like their surroundings definitely help them, but. Jeff was gonna do what he was gonna do IR regardless of everybody else. And we have to understand that those are one out of a hundred thousand, right.

Or, or no, I wouldn’t even say that it’s probably one out of, out of 50 million that have the ability to kind of push through that. So we see all these quotes on Instagram and Facebook and we watch ’em on YouTube and everybody goes right to like the Jeff Baso story about how he worked at that. You guys have all seen that picture of that garbage desk.

His hair is like nuts and big CRT monitor and it says Amazon and. On the wall. Um, and we think that like, in order for us to have great results, we somehow have to go through what he went through and it’s not true. Right. Um, he, even back then, he wasn’t building what is modern day Amazon. Right? You, you get to a point to where the company is so liquid and you get to roll the dice without consequence.

And that’s what happened, Amazon. Right? Amazon was a book company, you know, they, they leapfrogged everybody, they got a whole bunch of cash flow and he said, Hey, what if we roll the dice over here? Let’s see if it works well, when you’re that flush with cash. You can do that stuff, right? Real estate agents are the same way, right?

When Jennifer, when we’re no longer working to pay next month’s mortgage or rent or car payment or that what we consider liquid, we can afford to start throwing stuff out there without, without risk. And then that’s, that’s where scale kind of kicks in. Right. So, um, is it easy for me to recommend a jacket to get off this webinar today and, and make a list of all her friends and cut out the bottom 50%?

Can we do that? Yes or no?

You can, is it gonna be painful? Very painful. Yeah. Is, is it gonna take away a chunk of our identity? Like maybe, maybe we’re, we’re gonna feel like we’re we’re egotistical or it’s all about us. And so this is a really hard thing, Darren Hardy. And if I could find the video that he talks about this, he probably talks about it a hundred times, but he talks about the three minute person, the three hour person and the three day person.

Have you guys ever heard this before? Jennifer. If you had to compare, uh, somebody who was a three minute person with somebody who was a three hour person, what would be the difference between those two people?

Uh, selfishly probably my tolerance for them. Yeah. 100% is tolerance. So how would you talk to me if I was a three minute person? Uh, I would not engage as, um, I guess openly and I, I would just wouldn’t engage, you know, do what I needed to do. I’d be like, oh great. You know, it’s like, when someone comes up and like, Hey, how are you?

And it’s like, I’m great. And if I like you, I’m like, oh, you know, this actually happened today. How are you? Yeah. Yeah. You know, you don’t ask the question. You’re just like, Hey, how’s the weather how’s work going. What’s up. So good seeing you see you later, right? It’s very on the surface talk, right? This is going be your bottom 66 percentile.

Most of them are three minute people. You see them in a bar. Hey, what’s up? How you been? How’s the weather how’s work. How’s the wife. Awesome. See ya. Peace. Right. Not, not bad, not good. It’s just, it stays on the surface. It doesn’t get lo lower. If you allow the three minute people to get lower than the surface, they normally breed pain.

They go into complaining mode right away. They go into drama mode right away. They go into, oh my gosh. Did you hear about what happened Steve? The other day? Like they, they instantly go there and, and listen. None of us are free of drama in our life. Right? Whether we inflict drama on others or they inflicted on us.

So you can’t, no matter what everybody says, you can’t, you can’t get rid of it. It is, it is a part of human life. Right. But we definitely can channel it. What, how would you treat a three hour person? How is that different? Um, I think, uh, whenever you, the first thing that came to my mind was three minute.

You know, you don’t engage much, three hour thought of a dinner. Three day. I thought of who is gonna, who, who would I invite to my one bedroom apartment to spend three days with. Know. Yeah. It’s like, you’ve listened to the Darren Hardy thing already. A three hour person is somebody that you could go spend a long lunch with.

And, and, and they’re, you, you are never going to get exhausted of their company during that lunch, but maybe if it was like lunch and then a movie and then a baseball game at the end of it, you’re probably like, oh, I kind of want to kill you, dude. because the conversation at that point kind of, it kind of shifts from being a good conversation to, uh, what do we fill the dead space with?

Right. We’re getting, and the drama’s gonna kick in, right. The three day person is exactly what you, what you said it was. Who am I willing to take on a, on a vacation that I know that if I went on a long weekend with this person or this group of people at no point during the entire weekend, is something going to go.

We, we all have that one friend in the group that, you know, when we used to go to Vegas for weekends, everything was good on Friday. Everything was good on Saturday. And then low and behold on Sunday, somebody had a breakdown, some fight breaks out some, you know, drama and that, you know, those are not three day people.

They were three hour people. So rather than going in the life of like, you’re in my life, you are not in my life. That’s painful. And it’s really hard because, I mean, what do you do? Do, do you go up to me and say, Steve, Listen, I made a list today and you didn’t make the cut. So I’m not gonna talk to you anymore.

See you, like, there is no finality, right? You can ghost him. You could never respond, but just the art of ghosting and the art of never responding is painful in itself. Right? So we just know that probably 66% are in my three minute group. I would say somewhere around 34% or, or, uh, sorry, 30, uh, 31% is what I meant to say are in our three hour group.

And you may have like two to 3% people that are in your three day. And that’s okay. Right. Studies have shown that we don’t need 400 people in our three day group. You don’t need one. One’s too little, right? You, you don’t have enough relationships if it’s only one, um, you know, 50 is probably too many cuz there’s, you know, we don’t do well with variety.

Um, but I think it’s, it’s really important to understand that like cuz what we try to do with people that we don’t like, or we don’t get along with, or maybe we’re somewhere in the middle is we try to change. Right. Which I try to explain to you, Jennifer, every time you and I talk, you make me feel bad.

And can you please stop cutting me down? And can you please stop doing this? And every time I get a new car, you’ll always judge me. You always ask me how much money I make and you make me feel weird about it. And we say that, and then at the end of that conversation, we’re like, God, I feel really good because I talk to Jennifer about, you know, what my feelings are right now, but then next week comes back and, and what happens?

They do the same stuff over and over again. Right? They do the same stuff because that’s just who they. This is wildly resonating with me. Like I said, I’ve been dealing with some, you know, personal issues. I, I quit drinking alcohol last November, and I’ve hit some bumps in the road the last year, um, last week being one of them.

But back on the straight narrow, if you will, but in the sober months of me cutting out alcohol, I got a new apartment, downtown Chattanooga. I paid off my. I’ve got a great job. I’m killing it. I made the most amount of money, two months in a row that I’ve ever made in my life. And I have friends I’m doing this with these people and I, I don’t mean to it’s happening organically.

Doesn’t make it any less painful, but when you’re, and I’m learning, I can’t change anyone. You know, it’s just focused on yourself and I do have some friends that I’ve known for years and, um, I actually had one and it, it was painful. She. I was telling her, I paid off my car in June. I haven’t seen her in a few months that I just, there’s nothing less there in common with us.

But when I told her that I paid off my car, cause we actually bought our cars around the same time in, uh, 2016. I was like, yeah, I paid it off. And she looked at me and I felt it. And she, and I hate the word jealous and envious when people use that. I don’t, I try not to say it. And she looked at me, she was like, and she had this hateful look on her face.

She’s like, I’m Ugh, I’m so jealous of you. And I was like, Ooh, I don’t. That sucks. I would, you know, I would, I would, I, me personally, my response would be like, I’m look how much you’ve changed and turned things around, like, congratulations. Mm-hmm , you know, that’s and so it’s, it’s interesting seeing, I’ve never heard this three minute, three hour, three day, and, um, well you just, it’s tough, but.

I think once you understand at the end of the day that, um, when you give anybody any piece of advice, they’re always going to take it based on how they perceive their life parameters. Right? So you’re like, Hey, I worked my face off. I got sober. I paid off my car. And for you, it’s like, you know, I’m really working my butt off.

What she hears is like, you should have your car paid off. Why don’t you have your car paid off as well? So instantly what that causes is a defense mechanism over judgment, because we feel like, wow, she was able to do it. I wasn’t, or maybe I just didn’t make the decision to do it. I just kept making the payments, whatever, which is totally fine.

Um, and, and so there’s judgments on the alcohol thing. I, I commend you for it. And Jackie knows, I gave up alcohol, uh, close to four years ago. I’ve had, maybe I did have a beer, uh, and I didn’t, I wouldn’t consider myself. Then it was more of a health thing for me. Like every time I drank, I. My stomach felt like crap.

And even to this day, if we go to a social event and somebody tries to give alcohol, I’m just like, nah, I’m good. Oh, you gotta work at the early in the morning. No, I just don’t drink. And it’s oh, what happened? Well, nothing happened. I just, I just don’t drink. And Jackie, I don’t think you drink either. So this is like, yeah, the sober clothes.

It’s very strange. Yeah. It’s very strange because I actually, I got pancreatitis severe last November. Oh yeah. So it was a health issue for me as well. Yeah. Uh, When you’re 30 years old and ask you, if you, if you know, you wanna sign a DNR. And I was like, uh, is that that serious? They’re like, yeah, it is. And I was like, I should probably stop this.

Uh, yeah. So, but yeah, it is, it’s weird whenever you are at, when you’re at a social event and you know, you get a club soda or, you know, diet Coke with lime or whatever or water. Um, it’s weird. It’s like, uh, and it’s something that I’ve learned over the past almost year. Cause I I’m very social. I go out, I, I still go to bars with friends, you know?

And um, whenever, you know, They offer you one and you say, no, it’s almost like they you’re telling them they shouldn’t be drinking. Yeah. They feel bad. And then they start to fumble and they’re like, oh, well, oh, it’s. And it’s like, I’m good. And I’ve had to learn that it’s them. That has the issue with it.

Yeah. But it was, it was a very huge learning experience for me. Know, it will, it will never change. It’s just the way it is. Yeah. It’s, it’s just the way it is. Right. So again, um, empathy is the, you know, one, one of the things that, um, I’ll give you two examples, uh, in which is kind of funny, cuz I, I, I had a.

There’s a song called wildflowers by Tom petty. Well, Pearl jam covered it years ago and I always thought it was an Eddie Vetter song. And then somebody told me it’s not a Eddie Vetter song. It’s like one of Tom Petty’s most famous songs. I felt like a, you know, idiot. But, um, at, at Cabo, Which is a huge festival here in Southern California, Tom petty.

Uh, actually three days before he passed was the headliner on Sunday. Night’s unbelievable show. There’s probably like 30,000 people in the field. And some lady she’s probably, I don’t know why age makes a difference, but I, I would say she’s probably late forties, early fifties, she’s in the front of the crowd and she’s got her elbows locked like this, and she’s just doing this, trying to get outta the crowd.

Right. And she’s just bulldozing people and people are throwing water bottles at her. They’re throwing their beers at her. They, I mean, Pissed that she’s doing this, trying to get out of the crowd. And she comes right by us. She, I didn’t end up getting bumped, but she walked literally right by me. And it was, uh, I was there with Jenny.

Um, and I remember thinking like, God, I cannot get over how angry this crowd. I mean, they’re gonna, they’re gonna mob over this girl. Right. But the way she was handling, it was very aggressive. Right. And so Jenny said something like, God, how freaking rude. And I said, you know what? The same exact situation could have presented itself.

And rather than her locking her elbows like this, she could have had a child in her arms and in that, and she could have been just as rude in everything, but with the child in her arms, what would the crowd have done then? Yeah, they would, they would’ve gladly parted so she could walk right outta there because why?

Because they knew the reason why she was being so bullish. But when they don’t know the reason, the human race by default will always default, they will always go to negativity or, or frustration or hurt first. Always. Yeah. So from an empathy perspective, because, because you can cognitively think of this, you are, and this is a sales tactic as well.

When you have empathy, you must always assume that everybody has a reason to do what they need to do. Right? It’s like the car that cuts us off again. You may wanna honk your horn flip ’em off, catch up and tell ’em, Hey, what the F’s problem. But again, when you get up there and you see somebody in the front seat grabbing their throat, cuz they can’t breathe.

Then at that moment you’d be like, oh my gosh, I need to help these people get to the hospital. Fast as freaking possible, but because we don’t know that’s, what’s going on, it’s in their head. We always just assume that they’re being rude and selfish. Right. I see this Jennifer all the time in the real estate space.

When people go to listing presentations and they get emotionally charged over negotiations over commissions, or they get mad when a kickback is asked for like, like, uh, I had one, uh, the other day, um, uh, a client of mine was, was in a big sale at the very end. Um, they had, uh, something happened with a storm.

I can’t remember like a storm, something happened with a storm and something went wrong with the roof. It was like a $40,000 repair. And four days before closing this, the seller called one of my coaching clients and said, Hey, we can’t afford to fix this. Can you, can you cut your commission? And so we can get this deal close.

And the agent had a total me mental breakdown over, she called me. She was like, literally screaming at me on the phone. You know, this client is so like, so, um, Rude. And I mean, she just went off for 20 minutes and I said, I just wanna put something in your head. I’m probably totally wrong, but I want you to hear me out.

What if that client three days ago was diagnosed with cancer and that, that diagnosis cleaned them out bank wise and they have no money to close on their home. And the sale of their home was, was basically the equity they were gonna get in that home was going to fund that cancer treatment where you and I still be having this convers.

And she kind of paused and she goes, no. And I said so solely because you don’t know the reason why they’re asking you to chip in that allowed you to, to get emotionally charged. And she did find out the reason and, and, and this instance, it was a seller just being like, Hey, I know you’re making a lot of money.

You’re gonna share this pain with me. Right. There was no really reason behind it, or at least that she figured out. But if we automatically go from an empathy perspective of saying, Hey, there must be a reason why this, this client wants to meet with nine different agents. There must be a reason why they only wanna sign a 30 day listing agreement.

There must be a reason why, you know, they’re allowing multiple people to show them homes that open houses, like there’s always a reason for everything. And it’s very rarely because they’re just flat out a jerk. It’s very rarely right. That they’re flat out a jerk, you know, to go back to the alcohol thing.

It’s very rarely that they, I mean, I have to imagine that you don’t have one friend, even the bad friends that wishes you would go back to alcohol, but they can’t say that. Right. They’re never gonna say that because they feel weird saying that because if I believe that you should quit drinking, I think that’s great.

Well, why don’t I do that? Right. So they don’t have internal permission to talk that way, but because you are the one that understands this and you have empathy, You know that from their perspective, they’ve got a different vantage or a viewpoint than you do, right? Same, same thing in real estate. You know, I, we changed all of our business lines to say, we don’t answer phone calls.

You need to text or email. This is how you get a hold of us. And I, I would, I would be lying if I told you that when we talk to some people, some people are very frustrated that they can’t just call for any reason at any given time and talk to somebody on the team. And then once we explain that, once we do that, I’m never going to be able to schedule a call with you because our phone rings off the freaking hook all day long, every single day.

And the instant that we’re reactive to that now we’re not a traditional real estate team, right. If I. It’s in the field that we’re working to sign calls. It would be a totally different model, but because we’re a hybrid consulting team and real estate team at, I’m just not staffed accordingly to be able to answer phone calls all day.

But once they understand the reason by it, 100% of them are like, oh, you know what? That totally makes sense. I understand it. But again, because their needs aren’t being met, they weren’t automatically to frustration. Right. Um, I went on a long tangent or, or a creature of, uh, oh, habits. Um, We talked about one, right?

The, the obvious one, the, the no drinking habit, but Jennifer, if there was another habit that you could cut right now that if you just said like, or not, even if you could cut that, you could add, what would that be? Um, adding would be, um, which I am doing this week, uh, 30 minutes of walking every day. Okay.

And of course I know when I add that, it’ll turn into more, but right now, 30 minutes a day, I know that I can handle that. Okay. Um, how, how about water? How good are you with the water?

I should drink more water. I’m better than I was. Yeah. But as I sit here and drink my kombucha, and then I have my unopened water here to see how that’s going. Well, we go, look, I get it for me. It’s espresso before water. You’re never gonna be able to take me off that. Um, you know, I, one of the things that, that, um, you know, there’s so many benefits to being over hydrated, but, uh, one of the personal challenges that I dealt with, uh, a while ago is I would go through these crazy.

Ebb and flows every day, right? To the point to where, um, I remember talking to my assistant Jayna one day, this was years back and I said, you know what? Like, are the agents just needy in the mornings? And she goes, What? And I said, it seems like every morning, the entire team comes to me every day is like, you gotta manage.

You gotta in problem, problem, problem. And then like at one o’clock it’s like, they just kind of freaking disappear and she, and then she looked at me and she goes, I, I, I can’t tell if you’re like messing with me, Steve, or if like you’re being serious, I’m like, I’m totally being serious. What are you talking about?

And, uh, she goes, look, you’re always in a good mood. You always joke with everybody. You’re very motivational, but we can tell there are certain times of the day where you just hit your limit and you’ve trained the team at that time. It’s probably between two and four 30, and we just leave you alone because you get in this turbo beast mode.

And if we think we interrupt that you get pissed. And I said, pissed, I’ve never yelled at anybody. She goes, it doesn’t come in the form of yelling. It comes in the form of how short you are with communi. And I said, okay. And to be honest, the first time she told me this, I had a lot of resistance, right.

Because I’m like, I give everything, how dare you guys? You know, that’s, what’s going through my head. And then we had a team meeting and I said, Hey, if you guys had the scheduled meetings with me, when do you wanna do it? Everyone said mornings. And I said, why is that? And then one guy, actually that same guy was talking about earlier the 24 year old, he was the one to say, it just seems like you want to kill somebody at three.

And I said, it really feels that way. They said, yeah, it really feels that way. so I had my annual doctor checkup. He was taking, you know, he does blood work and all of that stuff. And, you know, everything came back fine at like triglycerides, I think at the time we’re a little high and he’s like, tell me about your stress level.

I’m like, well, I don’t know if I have a lot of stress or a little, I feel like everything’s on my shoulders. You know, I have a team of 18. We sell like 300 homes a year. I, you know, I always feel like I have to give, give, give, and he goes, okay, it’s impossible not to have stress. And I said, yeah, you’re right.

And then, uh, he goes, I want you to write your food log. Okay, fine. He goes, how, how well do you think you eat? I’m like, I’m probably a, a, a five outta 10, maybe a four and a half, a six on my best day. Right. I love pizza. I love chips and salsa. And so I write down my food log. I’m looking at the food log. I go back a month later and, and I think it, you know, looks pretty good now I was conscious of it because he told me to write it down.

So I was intentionally eating a little bit better. And he looks at, he is like, good. He goes, look, you’re eating. Like in Phoenix, we had Blimpy, you know, I love Blimpy sandwiches. We don’t have that out here. Uh, we have Jersey mics and subway. So I would eat blimpes he, like, you gotta cut out the process, meat, that stuff just sits in your body and your body can’t can’t get rid of it.

It’s just a pass through. And there was a couple other things and he goes, but I did this because I know what the issue is. And I said too many carbs. He goes, no, he goes, you’re look at how much soda you’re consuming. And he goes, where’s the water? I said, oh, I don’t really drink water. And he goes, don’t worry about the diet.

Don’t worry about anything. I just want to get you to 70 ounces of water, a. Because that’s the only thing that I wanna change. I said, okay, how do I do that? And he goes, go buy bottles of water and just put 70 ounces worth of water on your desk. And by the end of the day, all those bottles of water are need to be gone.

Or what I do now is I just have three of these and these are 32 ounces. Right. That’s, that’s how I kind of do it now. And he goes, and I just want you to chart how your day goes. He didn’t know about the 3:00 PM stress thing. He didn’t know about any, any of that. You just knew that there was probably stress overall.

And so here’s what happened. Number one, uh, because I was hydrated, I ate less. And what I mean by that is when we’re dehydrated, our body confuses that with hunger. So we go to snacking and then when we’re dehydrated and we snack our body, can’t process it and it causes issues, right. Kidney issues and all that stuff.

Um, and the second thing was, is I. Literally every day at three I’d, I’d go get a venti, you know, um, Americano with like, and cause I feel like I’m so tired. I need caffeine again. I wasn’t tired. I was dehydrated. Right. But I was confused with being hungry. So I started drinking all this water. I didn’t tell the team I was doing it.

I just started drinking it. It took me a while to get on it. I’m still not very good at it. Um, but I will tell you, it didn’t even take me three weeks. It happened so quick to where I felt like I have energy all freaking day. Um, you know, I don’t feel like these crazy ups or these crazy downs. I didn’t feel like I needed to go get the, uh, the venti Americano at the end of the day.

And, uh, eventually the team started saying like, Hey, you know what changed to the business? Nothing. I’m, I’m still just as stressed out, but my body wasn’t saying Steve, you’re thirsty. Steve, you’re thirsty. Steve. You’re thirsty because subconsciously that’s what was happening every single day. Right. There are good habits and there are bad habits, right?

Um, some habits are gonna affect, um, Jackie different than they’re gonna affect me. They’re gonna affect me different than they’re gonna affect you. I could tell you here’s 10 habits that if you did everything would open up for you. And you’d probably look at seven of ’em and say, Yeah, right, right. No way.

Um, my son is on the, uh, one of the best soccer teams in all of California. And, uh, the one thing that is preventing him from being a top three keeper in California, he’s probably top 10, um, is that he refuses to juggle the ball. And juggle the ball is just literally dropping the ball and just keeping it in the air with your feet.

And, and he just doesn’t like doing it. He hates doing it. And that is the one habit that he is missing right now. That is, that is keeping him out of the top five. Right. Everything else. He’s amazing. At 11 years old, he doesn’t wanna juggle. And when he goes to VO the ball, which is a punt down the field, because he doesn’t juggle and he doesn’t have that callous on his.

Foot of where that ball needs to hit every single time he’s inconsistent with some of his alies and his coach is right there to say, Hey, stop doing that. Right. So there’s so many little things because of the habit that he’s not doing that affect him 10% plus or minus every other day. Um, everybody, you probably have people on the team, Jackie and, and Jennifer, both.

You probably have people on the team that are, that are nervous about making sales calls. Yes or no. Yes. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. And, and where does that come from?

Rejection. Okay. Some of it comes from rejection. Is, is rejection ever gonna go away? No, no, no. I mean, how many, Jackie, how many times do you reject people every day? Just in, in your, in your day to day dealings, how many times a day do you feel that you reject other people? I reject all the time with the email that I receive and I can subscribe.

Right. I mean, we, look, we go, we go to Nordstrom and somebody says, can I help you? And you say, no, we go to the car dealership to get our car service. Hey, do you want new tires? No, I don’t want new tires right now. I just want an oil change. Don’t ask me about all this other crap. Hey Jackie. You know, right now my car’s, uh, it’s like at 10,000 miles up from warranty and, and out of the blue, I start getting these crazy freaking phone calls all day long about extended warranties.

And, you know, I’ll answer the phone and their, their ninja. Do they have local numbers and, you know, Some of them don’t even say Spamish so I answer who are your warranty is up, but I don’t want another warranty, dude. As soon as, you know, land Rover gets more cars, I’m gonna go get another range Rover.

There’s just no inventory right now. I’m not, I’m not gonna keep this out of warranty. And I I’ll be honest with you. I am rude about it. Right. And, and I’m short because it’s interrupting my day that that rejection is never gonna happen. But I believe that most people don’t make sales calls because they don’t have a habitual form of.

They just don’t do it enough. And then when, when too much time passes, when we legitimately get on the phone with a prospect, we get in our heads. What if they say this? What if they say that the best listing presenta, the best listing presenters in the world? Aren’t the best listing presenters, because they have the best deck.

They’re not the best listing presenters, because they’re the most skilled for, they’ve been, you know, they’ve sold 5,000 homes or any of that. They’re the best presenters because they just do it more than everybody else. They’re, it’s just comfortable. Right. You do something right. So many times it just gets easier.

It gets effortless. And you get, um, I wish I could remember off the top of my head that, um, Conscious awareness, you know, it’s conscious, unaware what you’re talking about. Conscious awareness, subconscious unaware. You know what I mean? And eventually it becomes so like it’s like walking. We never think about where to put this foot in front of that one.

So we can, we, we just do it so much that our body’s so centered. We’re never going to fall on accident. It’s just never going to happen. At least not at our age. Maybe, maybe when we’re 90, that might happen. Um, that’s how sales is. We get to a point to when that phone rings and you’ve just done it so many times, or you’ve been in so many people’s houses and you know, so many of the triggers that the rejection, you understand, Hey, I do this 20 times a day.

So when they do it to me, how is that any different than the 20 times? I already did it to everybody else. And when Jackie said she does it every day, all the time, I would argue. And, and, and Jackie, maybe you disagree with this, that every one of those times had nothing to do with that other person. That’s true.

Nothing to do with them whatsoever. It was just. Right. I just don’t need that particular product at that particular moment. But if I did, I wouldn’t UNS. That’s right, right. You sent me the wrong email on the wrong day with the wrong message. That’s all that happened. It had nothing to do with the guy that sent it.

He just didn’t hit the button some days it’s gonna hit the button. There, there have been times, you know, I don’t buy a whole lot of stuff off of email, but there’s a time. A couple weeks ago, I got one email about one camera for the soccer team that I was looking for. I don’t know how I got this email. It was a total spam email and I bought it right off the email.

That was one of those perfect email, perfect day, perfect mindset. But he could have sent me that email 364 other days. I wouldn’t have. But that one day it happened to be right, right. Nothing, nothing personal. So. Anything, um, that, that you can do that. You can just say, Hey, every single day and it could be waking up every single morning.

It could be the water. It could be the 30 minutes of walking. It could be, uh, I make the commitment. I know what was one of my lead. ISAs Jennifer, her. She knew that every day that she started her calls by eight 30, she tend to have a really good day. The days that she got in and got into the CRM and was analyzing and didn’t get started at like 10 40.

She never had a good day because it mentally, and I didn’t know this, she, she said this later, she just started and she felt like she was. She was already in a bad mindset from, from the get go. And this was all subconscious. Right? So, um, we talk about a daily action checklist and, and what that should look like from a point of success.

I actually don’t even think it’s, you know, I can’t tell you that the 5:00 AM wake up time is good, or, you know, two of my most success, two of my most successful friends from a wealth perspective, one of ’em doesn’t even get up till eight 30, every. I don’t even know what time he gets into the office, but it’s the same time every day.

He’s just a, he, he works way into the night and gets up super late. All his friends make fun of him for it, but he’s got more zeros in his bank account than I do. So he is doing something right. Um, this is kind of the same thing. It doesn’t matter what the habits are. You just need to identify that, Hey, every time I do this over and over again, things get a little bit easier.

Right. Um, one of the things that, uh, a challenge that I did I’ll, I’ll give you guys this, and I’ll leave you with this. I’ll tell you two quick stories. In one of my sociology classes, we had to do something in public that was considered socially unacceptable, nothing to do with like nudity or anything like that.

Right. But we had to. For a week and we had to document our findings. And, um, I was a junior in college when this happens and I couldn’t think of anything. I remember calling my parents and I’m like, I, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do here. My mom, my mom and dad, my God bless him. My dad’s a homicide detective.

My mom’s a communications director at 9 1 1. So they don’t, they don’t know. Right. They’re just like, don’t shoot anybody. And, uh, so I went back to my professor and I’m like, I have no idea what to do. He goes, you’re overthinking it. And he goes, just do something similar. I said, okay. So I went back home and uh, my roommate at the time, I said, Hey, if you were doing this, what would you do?

And he goes, well, why don’t you go give food away where it’s not accept. And I said, okay, so I went to the dollar store and I bought all these Andy’s mint. You know, when you go to olive garden, they give you those two mints at the end of it. Right. I bought a bunch of those mints. It was like three bucks. I had a whole little basket of it.

And I went to the mall, um, in, uh, Scottsdale fashion square. And I went to a foot locker and I went into the manager and I said, Hey, I’m doing this project for school. Do you mind if I give away free min at your door? And he goes, why, why do you wanna do that? I’m like, I just have to do this thing. That’s like socially, unaccept.

And he goes, okay, I think you nailed it. And uh, he goes, are you gonna, you have to wear a sign or anything? I’m like, no, I just have this little bag. And I I’ll just offer people mince as they come in. Okay. Fine. Whatever. How long are you gonna do it for? I’m like, I don’t know, hour or so. Um, in this hour, I, I could go pull up this research paper to give you guys the exact numbers.

It was probably, um, it was over a hundred people that walk through that door. Um, how many people, Jennifer, do you think took the MI. Oh, a, a 10th, maybe three, three. Okay. And two people threw ’em away. Two of them immediately threw ’em away. Everybody else, nobody was rude, but everybody was like, uh, uh, no, no, no.

Thank you. Now if I would’ve been at olive garden and you just would’ve given me the check and I went back and I came back to Jackie and say, Jackie, I’ve got two minutes. Would you like six? Jackie would be like, hell yeah, I want six. I, I look forward to these min at the end of olive garden. Right. It’s where we went as a kid.

So it’s like fresher my fresher, my memory. But because I was doing something outside of the norm, people thought, oh, there’s a hidden motive. This guy’s not wearing a foot lock in the uniform. He’s a, he’s a young punk kid, you know, wearing normal clothes. Are these poisoned, did he do something to him? Is he trying to hurt us?

There’s all these things that kick in because it’s something outside of the social norm. So I wrote this huge paper. Um, and I thought like, you know, I remember thinking about doing this and I’m like, I would take a mint, but you know what thinking. I don’t think I would’ve. Right. Because it would’ve been so awkward, uh, you know, to do something like that.

And some of what my classmates did, there was some funny stuff. One guy asked a bunch of everybody on a date, uh, somewhere like guys and girls who would just say, you wanna go on a date with me and check, you know? Yes or no. And he got zero yeses. Um, So my, my point is, is, is that when you can do things that are outta the norm, now I will tell you what that exercise plus a couple other ones that I had to do beat confidence in me, because if you can do something like that, and I was too stupid at, at the time or too ignorant to realize, like that was rejection.

I was just a, you know, I think I was, uh, juniors. I would’ve been, I was young. Um, I was 19 at the time. Right. So I didn’t know anything about rejection of this stuff. I’m just like, Hey, take a stupid MI. Um, I was gonna tell you a second part to that, but I, I, I can’t remember it off the top of my head whenever you get used to doing something over and over and over life just gets easier.

It just does. So if, if it’s the walk, uh, Jennifer, you should Google, um, There’s a story about a guy who wanted to run a marathon within five months. This is a Darren Hardy story, I think. And it’s in the, it’s in the book. Um, Jackie, do you remember Darren? Hardy’s big book? Uh, his famous book, the first one.

Um, I have it, but I can’t remember. I can’t, I love this book. I can’t remember. I can’t remember the title of it. Um, but it’s Darren Hardy is the. Yeah. He talks about this guy who, who he had leg problems, or maybe he was, he was sick or something. He wanted to run a marathon in five months. So he started by walking around the block.

Then he walked a little faster. The next day. Then he walked a little faster. Then he added a block. Then he jogged half of it. Then he added a block. He jogged half of how pound effect. Yeah, compound effect. That was it. And this is a classic example of, of the compound effect, right? So on one day he walks next day, he walks a little quicker.

Then he adds a block and every day for, for, I think it was 75 days, he just added like 3% more every single day. That’s it. And it’s six months. He, I think, uh, you have to read the story. I think he ended up placing like third in the. Where some people trained for years to run marathon, but because he had a daily habit that he just stretched just a little bit every single day and never went backwards.

The compounding effect of adding every single day at the end was, was a, a huge leap forward sales calls are the same way, right? So my team had a goal of every day of just making one more call or getting one more conversation or asking for the appointment one more time and never going backwards. And that we would do these in 30 day sprints.

It would blow you away. What you, what you’re able to. I love that. Um, if, if you, you know, did, did a check in with yourself once a month and just wrote down environment, tribe and habits and give yourself a little report. God, what, what did I do to improve myself in each one of these and what affected me negatively that I’m gonna make the commitment in the next month to cut out.

And again, we’re looking for small, easy, incremental changes. We’re not looking like I don’t drink any water and now I’m gonna drink 150 ounces a day. That is not possible. Can’t do it maybe for a day, but you’re gonna quit cuz you’re gonna be in the bathroom so much, your body won’t be able to adjust.

Right. But. Get to the office five minutes earlier, you know, I’m, I’m no longer like, um, you know, one of my team members is like, I have to stop doing the makeup in the car. I, it stresses me out when I’m trying to get somewhere and I’m still putting, you know, this stuff and I’m doing in the car. I, you know, and she had a reason for doing that, which were very valid, but she realized that something as simple as doing the makeup in the car was, was inflicting stress on her day.

Right. Absolutely. If you wanna share this with me. Great. I’d love to help. If not, that’s fine too, but I would do it monthly and Jackie for your team as well. I would just ask him, how does your environment affect you? How does your tribe affect you? Hopefully it’s not you guys as the tribe, right? And how are your habits affecting you?

What are you doing? Good. And what do you need to add? What do you need to take away? Mm-hmm cool. Absolutely. All right. This was great. Congrats. Yes. All right. I hope you, uh, I hope everything continues to go well. I’m sure it will. If I can help in any way tells drew, like I’m just a call away. Let me help.

All right. All right. Thank you so much. Rock and roll. Sweet next week. Yep. Bye. Bye. Bye. Okay.